Eagles v. Falcons - Week 2 Reaction
When a campaign starts as miserable as this Giants season has, it’s really the little things in life that keep you going. After struggling to get out of bed the past two Mondays, I was finally able to channel my inner Grandpa Joe (post-golden ticket) and front-flip off my mattress in song this morning. Not only had the Philadelphia Eagles pulled off the most miraculous loss of the young NFL season, but the rat/traitor Saquon Barkley and his creepy, incompetent coach served as the main catalysts in doing so.
Like most, I was well prepared for the inevitable Barkley divorce. The team was coming off a season in which they were lucky to win 6 games and had far too many holes to fill outside of the most replaceable position on the football field. It was a no-brainer to let him walk, considering the Giants never won shit with Saquon - despite him being younger, better, and cheaper than he will ever be. Signing with Philly obviously added a unique dynamic - but after several months of therapy, Limp Bizkit, and binge drinking - it was safe to say I had come to peace with the situation entirely.
Then, Week 1 rolls around and the former star’s monstrous debut was all the ammo the media needed to launch a Waco-esque assault on the G-Men before their season even kicked off. Daniel Jones AAV, burning 26 jerseys, quotes from the ever-senile John Mara - the lame-o’s played the hits and had a gay old time doing so. After Monday Night, it appears that the tides may have finally turned.
Ain’t no fun when the rabbit’s got the fun Philly!
After a crucial stop on a 4th and 1, Barkley and the birds were in cruise control. They’d ran the ball efficiently all night and just needed a few first downs to kill the clock and/or add to their 3-point lead. Philly wisely declined an intentional offsides penalty, knowing their patented “ass thrust” would convert the 3rd and 1 - putting them in prime position to run Saquon 3 times and at worst - kick a field goal to go up 6 with under a minute to play. But their do-nothing, arrogant prick of a head coach just can’t help himself!
Ole Saint Nick Sirianni delivered his latest block of call to all the naughty boys and girls in attendance - in the form of an incomplete pass play on 3rd down. One could argue that the play call was fine and had Barkley been able to secure the easy grab, Hurts would be kneeling and the birds would be 2-0. What that argument doesn’t take into account is that Saquon has failed to make this exact play in crucial situations time and time again (see Rams game in 2023, Cowboys on Thanksgiving 2022, etc.). His 16 drops since the start of the 2021 season lead all running backs, despite missing 8+ games in that span. Choosing to throw the ball to Barkley vs. put it in his chest in that satiation is almost as inexcusable as allowing known “Primetime Goliath” - Kirk Cousins to drive 70 yards in 75 seconds to win the game.
But that’s Sirianni for you. The guy is a “CEO Style” head coach who offers nothing on either side of the ball. In order to make himself feel relevant, he’ll always opt for the”ballsier” option any time any sort of game decision presents itself - for better or (often times) worse. He’s won 2 of his last 9 games as head coach dating back to November 2023 and has fired 3 different coordinators in that span - because surely none of the blame should be directed toward the guy who needs a fat rent-a-cop to help him control his emotions.
With the Eagles falling to 1-1, the Washington Commanders now sit atop the NFC East thanks to their divisional win tie-breaker. While this makes Sunday’s loss sting that much worse, it also means that the Giants remain one game out of the division lead despite their hellish start. While nothing I’ve seen thus far has led me to believe that this team will give us a strong showing against Cleveland, it’s the NFL and weird shit happens every week. The fact of the matter is we were gifted one final opportunity to keep the season alive by virtue of this fucking moron. We won’t be lucky enough to have Sirianni in the division for much longer, so it’s time to capitalize - otherwise Schoen and Daboll can join him at whatever McDonalds location he decides on.
