Giants v. Browns - Week 3 Preview
With Dallas and Philly each suffering embarrassing losses, while Washington remains a perennial embarrassment - the Giants somehow find themselves a fluke victory away from remaining “in the hunt” for the division title. Sure it’s more “Easter Egg Hunt hosted by the School for the Blind” than “Predator II” - but it’s a hunt nonetheless, and I want a basket god damnit!
How about we stop being a joke of a franchise for just one Sunday? Is that too much to ask? Probably so - but it’s my job (useless hobby) to convince you otherwise!
Last Sunday, Daniel Jones ended his year-long end zone dry spell with a bang - by torching the Commanders for 2 Touchdowns and 178 yards! The question on everyone’s mind is whether or not DJ can replicate this “success” against a defense that consists of actual NFL players. The short answer is “absolutely fucking not”.
Jim Schwartz is one of the best Defensive Coordinators in the business and has been for quite some time. On top of that, Cleveland has the reigning defensive player of the year lining up against an offensive line that Giants fans should know better than to crown after a couple of decent showings. While Garrett is currently hobbled by a botched surgery he had as a child (not a joke) and the unit as a whole is pretty banged up, Cleveland’s scheme still does a good enough job disguising its looks to have our simple minded quarterback confused once more.
Unlike the “baby poo” soft scheme of…I don’t know…Shane Bowen? Cleveland positions a majority of their players right at the line of scrimmage. They aim to take away any sort of quick passing game and trust Garrett and company to get home on anything that’s long developing. If the Giants attempt to spam the short/intermediate passing game, they’re going to run into a lot of trouble as Owusu-Koramoah and Delpit are instinctual playmakers who will identify your trends and jump these routes as the game develops.
On top of that - I think the cat is out of the garbage bag regarding Malik Nabers’ elite ability after the catch. The crossing routes and quick hitches that worked the week prior will now draw a ton of attention - and Daboll will need to be creative in getting his best playmaker touches on Sunday. Who else can step up on this offense when Cleveland inevitably decides to take Nabers away? Building on their strong rushing performance is absolutely essential. Whether this be via Singletary or the Jones read option, we need to find success in the early downs to avoid the 3rd and longs we have zero chance of converting.
How about any semblance of a deep passing attack? While Daniel Jones seemingly prefers targeting the turf on go-routes, maybe Slayton or Hyatt (assuming he sees the field) might be worth a shot? Without big plays, the Giants will be lucky to settle for 3’s against Cleveland - and while we do have a kicker on this week’s roster, if we’re banking on Greg Joseph going 7 for 7 to keep the season alive, our goose is sadly cooked.
On the other side of the ball lies serial sex predator - Deshaun Watson. His struggles in the court room and on the football field are well documented, as the Browns continue to regret their $230m deal with the Hand & Stone devil. The Browns offense has converted 4 of 29 3rd downs this season. Deshaun Watson has avoided litigation on 4 of 29 sexual assault charges. Watson’s two town ACL’s prevent him from running and his shotty rotator cuff prevent him from throwing - yet he is still somehow a better football player than human being. Fuck this guy.
Unfortunately for the G-Men, they seemingly can’t stop anyone on defense. Ideally they’d be able to capitalize on Watson’s inability to play quarterback at an NFL level, but they simply haven’t shown an ability to cover passes downfield and more importantly - stop the run. Despite their shortcomings on offense, the combo of Jerome Ford and D’Onta Foreman has averaged 4.5 yards per carry. If their 2-time coach of year is smart, Stefanski will lean on the rushing attack, especially when Dex is off the field. From there, the Browns will be able to stay ahead of the sticks and take some weight off the bum shoulder of their convict quarterback.
The most likely outcome here involves a lot of Jamie Gillian punts, 18 minutes time of possession, and the Drew Lock truthers re-emerging from their frat house basements. Is there a world where the Giants are able to win a rock fight against this Cleveland team? Sure - but we need God to not only exist, but to also inflict his most violent version of Karma on Watson and the Browns.
Give me J. Christ and Dabes here.
Giants 19 Browns 17
